Dreams

My day's have been stressful, but not from the things that are happening to me physically. Instead I am feeling tormented. But not the kind of tormented that is the whispering of demons in my ear, or fear or the distrust of God. Instead I just feel emotional. I do feel a fear but an emotional fear that is not attached to any real thoughts or feelings of my own. I feel other things, things I can't explain.

I don't know, I just don't feel like myself somehow. I don't feel well or capable. I just feel blah. It is really taking a toll on me. It is not the tired feeling that most people get, this is something else, something I can't say I have felt before.

I told my mom about the choices I am making, the choices to really put myself out there and fight in this battle. I told her I knew as soon as I made that choice I would be tormented, and it is happening.