Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Dreams

My day's have been stressful, but not from the things that are happening to me physically. Instead I am feeling tormented. But not the kind of tormented that is the whispering of demons in my ear, or fear or the distrust of God. Instead I just feel emotional. I do feel a fear but an emotional fear that is not attached to any real thoughts or feelings of my own. I feel other things, things I can't explain.

I don't know, I just don't feel like myself somehow. I don't feel well or capable. I just feel blah. It is really taking a toll on me. It is not the tired feeling that most people get, this is something else, something I can't say I have felt before.

I told my mom about the choices I am making, the choices to really put myself out there and fight in this battle. I told her I knew as soon as I made that choice I would be tormented, and it is happening.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Names of Demons

Like I have mentioned before, finding out the names of evil spirits is important when it comes to sending them away, and using authority to do it. Here are some of the names that may help, if you find that you feel tormented, but don't know the names of them.

Angst, Agony, Terror, Vengeance, Rage, Malice, Apathy, Hate, Jezebel, Manipulation, Mockery, Pain, Fear, Control, Stupidity, Ignorance, Arrogance, and many more. These are just some of the names and evil spirits I have come across, and I am just one person. I will add more if I discover or learn of more.

Recently, I have felt the need, a very strong need to do something with myself. Yes, I am in college, and working on doing what I love as a artist. But there is more I want. With the things I can see, and the lack of knowledge most have about demons, I really, really want to help. Saying I want to be an exorcist well that just feel overdone and maybe dishonest.

I want to help, that it. I want to build relationships, and fight in this battle that I know is already happening. 

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Love

If you read my post before this, the one about Demons, then you know how important love is.

A lot of 'Christians' love themselves, love their 'Power'. It is important to love yourself yes, but if you are helping someone else, because of your love for yourself, and not the love for that person it can be dangerous. In fact you can be inviting demons in, instead of getting rid of them. Arrogance and Self promotion is one of the breading grounds for evil.

This being said, what if you are trying to help someone you do not really know? You need to feel a love for them, you need to love who they really are instead of what you see before you. Some people have fallen so far off their mark they are vile, angry, dangerous, sneaky people that you might really detest. But this is not who they really are. Remember, God made everyone in his perfect image, Satan did not make people in his. People are born into sin, but they were made in a perfect image. THAT is who they really are, and you need to find out who they really are, see them through God's eyes. This can be tricky, but you must be willing to see passed the filth. When you do, you can love that person, love the wonderful person God made them to be, and when this happens you can help them remove a demon, or help them through life struggles, out of love for them.

I know this is moving away from my day to day live kind of thing, I just felt like people needed to know that there are demons, and that getting rid of them is a lot different from what movies or youtube might make you think.

I don't claim to know it all, in fact I know there is a vast amount more that I will never understand in my lifetime, but I know this much and strive to learn more because I really, really do, want to help.

I don't know who you are, where you come from, your struggles, or your worst sin, but I love you, I love who God made you, and I can assure you God loves you too. Feel free to try and contact me for questions, idea's, or just a good conversation.

Demons

I have seen a few movies on Demons and Exorcisms. I have also seen a few things on youtube. Now I am  Christian so some may wonder what I think about demon's, If I actually believe in them.

A lot of Christians don't exactly believe or not believe in them. Instead it is an idea that has more or less faded with time instead of people changing their minds about it one way or another.

I believe in demon's, and I don't even believe in them, but ever sense I was a child I could feel darkness in certain houses, parts of town, beside buildings. I never really know what it was I was feeling but the feelings were different and yet the same. But there is more too it. I then soon begun to be able to see demon's and on night, not to long ago, my sister was being strongly tormented by demon's, demons that have tormented her for years but somehow, for some reason, they had became threatened and showed themselves. Some may have an idea about what this is like because of movies or youtube. But those are not accurate. I am sure there is true film out there but I advice not to watch an film about real exorcisms. It is enabling to demon's and can in power them.

That being said, my sister was not possessed, but tormented. Anyone with the holy spirit cannot be possessed. However they can be tormented. Many people are tormented and do not realize it, in fact very few people are not, including Christians. In fact certain Christians are more likely to become tormented, there is a main reason for this. Christian's or followers of God, can be potential threat's, threats to the Devil.

Back to my sister, there was none of the eyes rolling back in the head, the random dangerous anger, tormenting is done to keep a Christian from moving forward, to keep them from changing and progressing, and can hurt relationships including the one with God. Being tormented is both very dangerous, as well as not at all. It can really damage your lifestyle, your emotional health and then most importantly you spiritual health. I had never really known that what people call 'exorcisms' were real until one night, I went into my parents room and saw it happening. My sister laying back on my parents bed, my parents sitting on each side of her speaking to the demons tormenting her. Now I wan't to explain further. Some people may imagine my parents sitting on their knees, leaning way over her, facing her completely and holding down her arms. No, they were close to her, but in a loving way. I couldn't remember what my sister was saying, but I remember it was not her. I really scared me. I didn't understand it or like it, and I really feared for my sister.

What I didn't realize was that, that was what demons counted on. They want you to be scared. It is smoke and mirrors. Demons have no power over God. While us humans can make mistakes, sin, make choices and allow demons to torment us without even realizing it, in the end God has more power. I didn't know that then and left the room crying.

That was the first time for me. It really scared me at first, but I was glad it happened because it opened my mind to much, much more than I could have realized otherwise. There is so much more to being a Christian. There is a war going on, and we are the prize. We have to fight for God, ourselves, and Each other.

Sense then I have learned much, much more about demons. I can walk past a person and know if demons possess or torment them as well as the names of those demons. Now I am not trying to brag, or be vain, or any of that kind of stuff. God offer's people special abilities. Some people have to work for them, sometimes they are readied at a young age like me. I am not a super strong or perfect Christian with all of the answers. I don't often go to church or go to food drives. I listen, and I read the bible, but mostly listen. Because of how hard my life was when I was a child, I have learned to quiet my mind, and when I do my toughest questions are often answered by God. I will not use the gifts God gave me for attention or promotion. God made sure to change me so my Gifts will only be used for him and not selfishly. Gods gifts used selfishly is dangerously. I am just simple, calm and listen.

So, because of this, I have learned words, but listening and knowing the names of demons. I have said words that none of my family members know, and then they look it up. Each demon has a name. Some names are more like names, such as Jezebel (The she demon of lust, and mocking), then there are other's, such as Murder, and Agony. The names are vast, but important to know.

There is so much to know when it comes to removing demon's. Yet it can be learned very quickly through actually doing it.

Demon's can be transferred through bloodline, as well as someone allowing the demon in.

First thing is first, how do you confront a demon? If you have a spiritual sensitivity gift then there may come a time when you know. It won't be because you think it is time for a friend or a family member, it wont come from the mind. Instead you will feel it, a strong tugging, a urge. It is possible when you feel it the demon will know you know, know that you might try to do something. Without you saying anything the person may become angry or mean. They may also seem perfectly fine and normal, the demon could be acting. If the person is in front of you and they becomes angry, do not becoming demanding or angry or mean back, it is not them. In order to get rid of a demon/s, the person needs to want it. So becoming demanding is bad, you are making it about the process and now about the person. If you feel it, and you feel this overwhelming tugging, place your hand lightly on their arm, gentle, skin to skin contact is important. They may move away, become angrier, and you may feel it, a the feeling becoming intense. This is when you tell the person that you love them ( and you have to mean it) and tell them, you feel like there is something they need to get rid of. I have never had this happen to someone who is not Christian so if they are not Christian, it could become harder. Listening is good, quiet your mind, don't be afraid, and listen. Let God speak through you, pray in your mind right away to be at peace, to not be afraid, to listening to God, to only speak the truth and only speak the truth when you need too. Make sure you not make it about you, and a show of your ability. It is not your ability, it is not your power, it is God's power, his power that he is loaning you. Be ready, but humble.

If the person say's they want too ( they may just nod), take them somewhere to sit or lay down. Laying down is good, it opens you up. I can't really explain, but it is better to lay back, with arms at the side and not over you. A bible is needed. But from what I have seen people bring crosses and devices and a bunch of stuff. You don't need though. All you need is God, a Humble spirit, Love, and a Bible really, really helps. Also, having two other people is normally a good idea. Now from youtube videos I watch, the person smacks the bible against the person, almost violently as if the person is the enemy. Getting rid of demons is not a sport, it should not be treated like one. Don't see how much you can do in little time. No. Do not do this. It makes me upset to see people do this. You are doing this for love of the person, and trust in God. Yes you hate the demon, but what is important is for the person to hate the demon. You can not get rid of it, but you can help the person who has it get rid of it, because in the end, it is about them.

Now laying down, with a bible beside them, you want to touch them in love. Have a hand on their shoulder, you want to be gentle at first. They might not like you touching them, at this point you can stop if you want too, but you will have to again later. Ask them a few question's, this is when you need to listen to God, to determine what to ask. You can even ask if they know what demon it could be. They might have an idea, but probably wont know. This is when things can go in two different kinds of directions. The person may be wanting to get rid of it, and calm for the most part and working already to get rid of it. If so you guys can brain storm about the name and figure it out nice and pleasantly like. If not, they may want to get rid of it, but the demon may be starting to panic, and they may be struggling so badly, that it would be your job to get the demons name, and the demons name is important.

At this point, it will be good to open the bible, and place it on their chest. Also, having a man in the room can be very important. I am not sexist, I am a girl. But men have a protectors authority. Things from now can vary, just listen to God, make skin contact and be loving. It is about them. If the demon is becoming violent, ask the demons name, ask in the name of Jesus Christ. Tell him he has to tell you his name. With Authority you will get the name, but there may be more than one. Once you get the name, you need to ask where the demon came from, what gave it the 'right' to bother this person? It can be generational, or the person can have allowed or even invited the demon in by mistake.

Once you find out how the demon got there the person, who you love, need to renounce the demon in God's name, break and ties and binds to generational demons, and ask for forgiveness. This process can take hours, and can be very tiring. You will need to pray extensively, listen closely to God and Love them while Hating the demons. It end's when they voice out loud, asking renouncing the demon, and telling them to get out of their life and that they have no right to bother them. Their soul belongs to God. It can be very hard.

The problems that may come up, is that depending on the demon, some people might like this attention, and plan on dragging it on instead of changing. Another problem is self loathing, if someone feels like they are not work saving they will not fight for themselves, you need to tell them their qualities and if you can their spiritual gifts. A way to do this is look at the demon they are getting rid of, and the opposite of that is who they are. Say they are getting rid of Rage, then who they really are, is loving, or peaceful. Tell them this is who they are. Reading verses and listening to praise music helps too. Singing praise songs is good. Playing it by ear is good. Keep your spirit open, God may ask you to do something you might not have thought off to do. At once point, back to my sister, she was mocking me, bringing up secrets that no one could really know about myself. I felt flustered and didn't know what to do, at the last moment I put my forehead to her and grabbed her face, and then prayed for her in tongues. It really worked. They may mock you, be vile, laugh at you, anything to throw you off. You have to stay firm, you are a warrior of God, this will not effect you. Love the person, hate the demon, listen to God.

If you have the same demon the person who are trying to help has, it can take away your authority. Sometimes the demons talk through the person, and tell you that you have them too. In which case you need to ask for forgiveness, ask God to forgive you.

Through it all the person can be speaking in odd languages, curse, say horrible things, and will be very, very figity. They may need to be retrains. But don't retrain by grabbing into the upper arm, hold their hand, lace your fingers. The person should not feel like they are bellow you, they need to feel equal, they need to believe that God gives them power.

It can take a long time, it will be very tiring. Afterwards everyone will feel tired. The person who lost demons needs to verbally replace them with their opposites. Hate with Love, Pain with Peace, and so on. The person may feel odd. The feeling can be wonderful and light, other's feel odd. Feeling off and out of place is normal, you feel like you lost part of yourself if you have had a demon for a long time. The person should verbally remind themselves of who they are, and that God loves them, and to replace the demons with their opposites, qualities and gifts, God has given them. The odd feeling will pass.

Remember, it is not our power it's Gods. He loves us. Be a truth seeker, instead of seeking the truths that are most convenient.

Please comment feel free to comment.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Day 6

It’s like a groaning, a moaning. An unpleasant twisting up of my spirit’s, my soul. It’s a feeling that is not attached to an emotion or thought, nothing has happened to make me feel this way, and yet I feel like I am in pain, like I am mourning something. I feel like something was lost, something that is important. That’s it, it’s the sense of loss. The worst part of it is that I don’t know why I feel this way, so I can’t even confront or deal with it. It just does not feel good, and sits in my soul like an un moving rock, a lump. It does not budge, and somehow I know, I will be sad, I will feel this odd sense of loss for as long as it takes, I can’t think or hope it away. It is going to stay. It will keep me on edge, I won’t be able to get anything done, but I won’t be able to sleep either. I will feel wrestles for a while. How do I know? I have felt like this before. Not many time’s but a few. Once or twice I found out later that something was lost, other times I never knew what could have left my life to leave me in such odd agonizing yet hallow pain. But I do know it will last. It can last from a few hours to several days and there will be no peace, I will suffer until it ends.  Sometimes I feel like I need to pray, but when I do I feel like I should not, and that I am just supposed to listen and let myself feel this pain. No matter what I do, there is never quick relief from this kind of feeling.


I am not being punished by God, I know that. But I still never really know the reason for this, this odd wrestles sadness. 

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Day 5

I know, I am very bad at this. Is anyone even reading this? Not many it seems. I read around blogs and often see beautiful wonderful blogs with no feedback at all. I guess I had this idea from movies I had seen that there are a bunch of people on here just waiting to follow me. Maybe that is not so.

I visited my family this weakened. I don't remember if I had mentioned but I am very close to my family. I love them all so much and I am not a rebel child who went out or goes out to break free from my parents and try everything. Some people think it's weird to be close to your parent's as if I am some spineless gap child. But I don't think it is a bad thing to be close to your family, I think it is a good think. Friend's come and go but your family will always be your family. It is important to me to take care of our relationship because I think God want's us to be close. We keep each other accountable, and are compassionate to each other. I think it is the mature and right thing to do, to be accountable to someone, and I especially think that God gave me such a good family of purpose.

I am not the preachy Christian type, but if I am sure about anything I am sure about that.

Well when I visited, there was a bit of a feud going on. My sister, let's call her Calla, is a very eccentric person, very out going, a complete extrovert. Because of this all of her qualities are out in the open, the good and the bad. And for some reason, some of the foster boys my mom takes care of have this idea about Calla, like she is some shallow popular blond. They saw her, they imagined her so, and so they think she is. That is all they care to see or believe, and she is rude sometimes, but I never take offense to it or take it seriously, but them, they get their panties in a wad and want to make her pay, they want revenge. I told them both to treat her kindly and with respect, they are both about five years older. But no, they both said 'I am going to treat her how she treats me'. So they are cold, cynical and mean to her with this idea of who she is. They are not bullies, but they act like children. It makes me so upset, and really, I just want them to suck it up and start acting like adults. Despite the fact that Calla is rude at time's they are too, and Calla is a hard worker, a team player and a kind person, but when I told them that they both denied it because they already decided who it was. Fighting happens between siblings, but this isn't some fighting, it's some kind of battle for the alpha. Can't everyone just calm down and be compassionate? Really?

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Day 4?

Yes, yes, I know I know. I am very much behind. I had thought about posting many times but didn't.

Since I have last posted life has certainly taken some stressful turn's, nothing too bad, just thing's that are awkwardly hard to deal with, like that spot on your back you just can't reach. That is how I feel.

Most of all Alex. For those of you who are keeping up he is a co-worker and someone who had creept me out. But I gave him another chance, and it ended like the last. He is nice, very nice, too nice. He is fake. He has nothing to talk about because everything he has to talk about is about stuff he know's will be a deal breaker for me. I took in my connection with God and just my woman's intuition and I just know from the deepest pit in my stomach this guy was dangerous and just wants to sleep with me. I know it sounds vain but trust me I don't just come up with these thing's to self praise. Instead I just know he thing's a small little girl like me is ignorant and easily bought. 

After I told him I was not interested in a relationship he told me that, that was okay, that we could be friend's but then asked me to hang out with him again. It is the exact same thing. One on one time with someone who I know is thinking dirty thought's. I told him I don't have time, which I do so he continued to text me twice a day to ask me what I am doing and ask me to hang out. I continued to say 'No' so get this, the guy shows up at my house.

I then tell him I am not interested in being friend's with him, that get's him to leave me alone, but then gossip about me to my other co-workers that I don't want to be friend's with him. The thing is at work, he is a nice, little sweet caring guy, but I know it is a front, well I did after meeting with him twice. But the girl's don't know that. So I am not the mean person who wont be friends with someone as sweet as Alex. How can I tell them that it is because he is being creepy and in reality just wants to sleep with me? I can't, it just sounds vain, and I would not be believed.

I had to decided it was okay if they didn't believe me. I feel like I fell ass first into some drama though. I don't like drama and try not to be part of it. I thought he would back off as soon as I told him I was not interested in a relationship do, most men do, but no he fought and fought and fought making thing's into a bigger deal than they were.

Blah, I don't have time for this mess. I don't have time for man drama. If I say 'no' I mean 'no' not 'try harder and buy me stuff'. No that is just weird. Cut it out. Jeez.